Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Holes in My Brain

This post is to all of you who think I am ignoring/avoiding/hiding from you, etc. I'm really not trying to ignore anyone. I am ill. Very ill. It's official...I have holes in my brain!! We're not 100% sure what is wrong with me. I've had many tests done and have many more to go. We have ruled out MS and cancer. YAY! We were thrilled and relieved that we won't have to deal with that. However, my MRI apparently shows areas in my brain that have restricted blood flow. As many of you know, I have frequent migraines. I'm usually able to get rid of the headaches with caffeine and Ibuprofen but the migraines have become more frequent, meaning daily, and intense. A couple months ago I had one hit me at work. It came on very fast and I ended up in the ER... a place we have come to know very well and hate very much! The doctor there called it an A-typical migraine and gave me some fun drugs and sent me home. Then the fun stuff started to happen. I have a terrible memory.... just ask my kids! Well, all of a sudden, I was forgetting huge chunks of time. And then, I was having brief blackouts and eventually had a fainting spell where I was unconscious for several minutes. That has now happened twice. Then to make things more exciting, someone would be talking to me and I wouldn't be able to understand what they were saying.
So.... my neurologist thinks I'm either having mini-strokes or small seizures. Our family doctor and the ER doctors that we're growing to know and appreciate, are all leaning towards seizures due to the frequency and characteristics of my episodes. I am on anti-seizure medication which I have to gradually increase every four days until I am at my full dose. Every time I take an increased dose it makes me very sick. However, the headaches are getting fewer and farther apart and they've become more managable.
I have not shared this with many people. I HATE feeling weak and I don't like people feeling sorry for me. However, I decided to share it today because my husband is dealing with a lot. He's basically doing everything and it's beginning to wear on him a little. He needs support and relief.
I can't drive, I get worn out very quickly, I get sick a lot, etc. It's been rough on him. He rarely complains and he's been amazing.
That's my story for now. If I don't seem to be talking to you as much or have not returned phone calls or emails, it's not because I don't love you! It's just because I'm either afraid of sounding like an idiot or I just haven't had the energy.
I have faith we'll figure this out. We've had some amazing help from the bishop. We just now need the support of our friends. I don't want a bunch of people feeling sorry for me, though! I'm not dying! I'll be up and running again soon...kicking butts and taking names! I promise! I was even out weeding my flower beds this morning so I'm getting back on my feet.

8 comments:

Mindy said...

Wow Arianne, I am sorry that you are going through so much. Sickness can take a huge toll on a family and especially a devoted husband. You are in my prayers. I know you may not want or need my help, but I am so here. I can drive you ANYWHERE, cook a meal when you are tired, play with or pick up kids, run errands. ANYTHING! ANYTIME! I am serious. I love you and know you are an incredibley strong woman. Even strong woman need to lean on each other sometimes. Lean on me. I would seriously LOVE to help you. Keep me updated. I also make a great lunch date or pedicure partner too. Take care and I'm glad you have such a good husband taking care of you.

Nancy Mackey said...

well if there is anything I can do from Rexburg- let me know. In the mean time keep us posted... luv ya!

Krista said...

I thought you were being funny when I first started reading you post. Not so funny now! I'm so sorry. I'm sure it must be so frustrating to not feel good and to not know exactly why. I'm sure everything will work out. Hopefully soon! I'll be thinking of you.

Teri said...

I sent you an email. I hope you know we're here for you. Please let us help. I owe you so many favors for taking care of us and letting me cry on your shoulder when things have gone wrong at our house.
Love you!

Darin & Amber Bassett said...

Ariane, I finally figured out how to get on your blog so I could find out what everyone was talking about on FB. I know you will get through this, you are a strong women. Too bad I don't live there to lend some help. Don't feel bad about asking for help. Everyone needs it once in awhile in their lives. We will keep you in ours prayers.

Love Amber

Woolstenhulme-4-ever said...

Oh wow.. I know you don't want anyone feeling sorry for you... but I am sorry. That stinks so bad and you have five little ones. My sister in law just got diagnosed with epilepsy. If that is how you spell it! lol. They think she has had little seizures for 2 or 3 years. She had two really bad seizures.. and that is how they found out. She is on meds. now and she is doing wonderful. I will be praying for you and your family. if you would like an invite to my blog send your email to littlered_pa@yahoo.com.
Kortnee(Nelson) Woolstenhulme

Neika Boulter said...

I'm glad you posted this and I'm glad I could come read up on everything! I know its crappy to be ONE being taken care of, and its hard to see your husband have to do everything you used to do for yourself! I'm praying everything will heal quickly! And in the meantime.... enjoy your FORCED relaxation!

Joy ~ Kurt said...

GIRL! I will praying for you and the Dr.'s and your fam!
Keep us up to date!