Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Yesterday was my EEG. For now, it's the last of my tests. However, next week we have an appointment with another neurologist so I may have to do this all over again. Argh!

Anyway, here's a picture of all the wires going into my hair. Carter asked if they were checking to see if there was too much dust in my head or if my brain was still alive. Thank you, Doug for putting that idea into his head! But it does go along with my new mantra lately... if I can't laugh at it, I'm gonna cry!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Mckenzie's New Look

My super brave little girl decided to cut FOUR inches off her hair! She looks so cute!! Her hair is all shiny and now it seems redder. We had bangs cute which didn't turn out the way I wanted, but the hair cut is darling. My little pixie elf!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Crazy Hair Day 2009

Today was crazy hair day at school! We always have fun with hair around here, so this morning was fun trying to come up with cool things to do. All the kids came up with their own styles. Ethan's is hilarious. I had no idea his hair was that long.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Holes in My Brain

This post is to all of you who think I am ignoring/avoiding/hiding from you, etc. I'm really not trying to ignore anyone. I am ill. Very ill. It's official...I have holes in my brain!! We're not 100% sure what is wrong with me. I've had many tests done and have many more to go. We have ruled out MS and cancer. YAY! We were thrilled and relieved that we won't have to deal with that. However, my MRI apparently shows areas in my brain that have restricted blood flow. As many of you know, I have frequent migraines. I'm usually able to get rid of the headaches with caffeine and Ibuprofen but the migraines have become more frequent, meaning daily, and intense. A couple months ago I had one hit me at work. It came on very fast and I ended up in the ER... a place we have come to know very well and hate very much! The doctor there called it an A-typical migraine and gave me some fun drugs and sent me home. Then the fun stuff started to happen. I have a terrible memory.... just ask my kids! Well, all of a sudden, I was forgetting huge chunks of time. And then, I was having brief blackouts and eventually had a fainting spell where I was unconscious for several minutes. That has now happened twice. Then to make things more exciting, someone would be talking to me and I wouldn't be able to understand what they were saying.
So.... my neurologist thinks I'm either having mini-strokes or small seizures. Our family doctor and the ER doctors that we're growing to know and appreciate, are all leaning towards seizures due to the frequency and characteristics of my episodes. I am on anti-seizure medication which I have to gradually increase every four days until I am at my full dose. Every time I take an increased dose it makes me very sick. However, the headaches are getting fewer and farther apart and they've become more managable.
I have not shared this with many people. I HATE feeling weak and I don't like people feeling sorry for me. However, I decided to share it today because my husband is dealing with a lot. He's basically doing everything and it's beginning to wear on him a little. He needs support and relief.
I can't drive, I get worn out very quickly, I get sick a lot, etc. It's been rough on him. He rarely complains and he's been amazing.
That's my story for now. If I don't seem to be talking to you as much or have not returned phone calls or emails, it's not because I don't love you! It's just because I'm either afraid of sounding like an idiot or I just haven't had the energy.
I have faith we'll figure this out. We've had some amazing help from the bishop. We just now need the support of our friends. I don't want a bunch of people feeling sorry for me, though! I'm not dying! I'll be up and running again soon...kicking butts and taking names! I promise! I was even out weeding my flower beds this morning so I'm getting back on my feet.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My Baby

Ethan loves babies, always has. My sister was visiting last night and Ethan asked to hold the new baby. He sat with her for a long time, touching her hands, feet, nose, ears, and kissing her sweet chubby cheeks. He would talk to her in a quiet voice and rock her a little. He is the sweetest boy.
Let me say this about Ethan, from the day he was born, I always felt that he knew more than I did, that he was smarter than me. I still believe it to this day. There is something about him that is gentle, wise and strong, just like his dad. How many 9 year old boys would sit and hold their baby cousin like that? Even though he's so tall and growing by the minute, he's still my baby.