So, we've been having this issue with Ethan. To avoid getting into trouble, he's been hiding stuff from us. Examples:
He hates math, so one week he ripped off the math pages from his homework packet and threw them in the garbage and covered them with bread. I have to sign this packet every week and as I'm signing it, I notice that there are pages that have been ripped off. I ask Ethan where his math is and he says he doesn't know. Then, he gets upset because he can't find the pages.... the kid is a fantastic actor. He had both me and his dad completely going for his little show. Then, as I'm walking by the garbage can I notice all these whole pieces of bread. Something tells me to investigate and low and behold, there's the missing math pages. Of course I made him complete the math pages during his free time and he had to go to bed early. I just couldn't believe he did that!
Then today, my neighbor comes over to see if her son can hang out with us while she and her husband go to Costco. Her son is in Ethan's class and we're chatting about that when she asks me about a "Stop and Think" paper that Ethan supposedly received for getting into a fight. These papers are given to kids who misbehaved, they have to answer some questions about their behavior and how they can make changes. They're supposed to bring it home, discuss it with their parents, have their parents sign it and take it back. (I think it's TOTALLY stupid and ineffective....) Apparently, Ethan got into this fight about a week ago. I didn't have a clue. So Doug and I sit Ethan down to discuss what happened. He explains that some kids were teasing him about liking a girl, they wouldn't stop so he pushed a kid down. Then he shows me the Stop and Think paper and he FORGED MY SIGNATURE!! Obviously the kid is in trouble and Doug and I are totally shocked.
I know my kids aren't perfect but Ethan has always been a good kid. I would expect this kind of stuff from one of the other boys because dealing with them is like dealing with comedic monkeys, but Ethan has always been so responsible. Honestly, part of me wants to laugh over this because it really is funny in a tragic sort of way. I'm just concerned that he feels he has to hide things. I always thought I'd be the mom that had open relationships with her kids. Apparently I was wrong. Any suggestions on how I can get my kids to talk to me?
5 comments:
K first off, So SORRY! I know how it is to have kids lie STRAIGHT through their teeth. We had a problem with Haley awhile back and I had a friend who told me, "Don't set them up for failure", which meant.... Don't ask questions that its easy to lie about. Instead of saying, "Ethan do you have homework" say something like, "Do you want Mom or Dad to help with homework tonight? Also when Haley was acting out, and lying.... my little sister said when she acted like that she really just wanted someone to hug her! We've been a lot more affectionate with Haley and I think its made a difference. I hope some of this helps!
It happens. My first born sweet son does the same thing. He is such a great kid, but when it comes to schoolwork he is a big fat lazy, liar. It may sound harsh to say, but so true! I've tried everything, but this is his weakness. Just stay in constant communication with the teacher, read the agenda and assume he has homework. I don't know what happens to our sweet little boys, but there are struggles with all children. I hate the lying the most of all especially as they get older. I usually put more of a consequence on lying than any action. I want to trust them and I want them to not be afraid to tell the truth. Good luck! We're all in the same boat!! Personally I think Ethan is an awesome kid. He is WAY more well behaved than most all the boys I know his age. You are doing something right!!
Nope no suggestions, But I think it is important to hold on to that part of you that wants to laugh (in the back of your mind, of course, where he can't see it!)
I don't have any better advice than what has already been said. But I'm here for you if you need to laugh or cry it off before you talk to him!
oh no. you wonder where they learn those things. i can't believe he even signed your signature. i wish i had advice for you but i haven't had to go through that..yet. i'm sure i'll be asking you for advice. I started laughing when i noticed you and i have the same background on our blog. we must think too much alike or something. i'm glad you are ok and that doug still has his job. its so crazy right now. my doug just found a job after not having one for 6 months. he did some temp work during that time but still. i hope things change
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