So here's a question.... my kids are begging to have sleep overs. I have said no for years and I keep saying no. I am so uncomfortable with the idea of sleep overs. My neighbor gave us the idea of having "late-overs" where friends can come over and have a kind of pajama party where we have snacks and play games and watch movies till about 9 or 10 and then the friends go home. But more and more, they want their friends to stay over. Now, I'd be ok with friends staying over here, but that opens the door for friends wanting my kids to stay at their houses. And that's a whole other can of worms.
But then, am I really ok with kids staying at my house? Not really. I love kids and always give them the benefit of the doubt, but you never know. There's a child that is really close to our family and I've always adored him, but recently he's been acting out in strange ways. I don't care for him any less, but some of the things he does and says make me worry. So, that leads to the question of do we really know who our kids' friends are? And do we really want them staying in our homes over night?
The option of having my kids stay at someone else's home over night is just something that makes me so queasy that I can't even think about it.
I look at it as being safe, as keeping my kids safe. I don't just say no without having a reason. I do tell them why I don't like sleep overs. I want to arm my kids with information so they stay safe. It's like that guy says from America's Most Wanted, it's better to make sure our kids know the truth and be a little scared than to have to identify them in a morgue. This was a man who's child was kidnapped and his severed head was found 2 weeks after his abduction. Sounds a little extreme, but I would so much rather be safe than sorry.
However, am I crossing the line into being too controlling? Or as my sons call it, over protective? Where do you draw the line?
Ya. But it still hurts.
1 year ago
6 comments:
I think a lot of it has to do with not just how comfortable you are with the kids but the parents. We had some great times rocking out to NKOTB all night long at your house, but that was because my parents knew that your parents would never do anything to put us in harms way.
You have to be so careful these days. Even if you know the family, you don't know if there are other people there with your child. We used to only have sleep overs with family but opened it up to more with some good friends from that ward. Since moving I haven't allowed our kids to have sleepovers. It's scary, and like you said "better safe, than sorry!"
With the line of work Naki was in, he saw way too much awfulness, some as result of "sleepover" scenarios, and so we made the no sleepover rule for our girlies long long ago. We do have late overs, as you mentioned, and they seem to suffice. One angle to also consider that Naki brought to my attention. It's better to keep yourself safe also...safe from any kind of accusation. There's always a loop hole, but I figure as long as you listen to your gut on these kind of matters, you're doing the best you can for those kiddos of yours.
my kids are only ever having sleep-over's with family... and as everyone knows even then sometimes the answer may be no... your not being over protective.
Darin and I decided a long time ago to only have late overs for our kids. They complain, but I am not going to give in. We have known of a lot of things that have happened with people you would never think would do anything wrong. You CANNOT trust anybody. I also agree with Abby, you don't want to put yourself in the situation to be accused either. I've seen that happen too, and it ruins people. I told somebody once that if there is even a 1% chance and I let my kids go, then I would be responsible.
Justin & I decided a long time ago NO sleepovers.
I do like the ideas of late overs those sound fun-
I think were both alike when it comes to being the mama bear!
Love ya!
Post a Comment